By Julia Indigo/@juliaindigo
The end is in sight, and no, not the end of my first draft! The end of the Sharp Left Turn that I mentioned the other day. I leave for the audition on Saturday, whether or not I’m ready. The tickets are bought, the friends who live there are contacted, the place I’m staying is booked, and my audition time is set.
Did you see that, above? The phrase ‘whether or not I’m ready’?
It remains to be seen whether or not one is ever ready for a symphony orchestra audition. My preparation is continuing, and will up until I walk out on stage, just me and my piccolo, thankfully behind a screen. Yes, symphony orchestra auditions are blind, usually until the final round.
Today I’m afraid to hope. I’d love the gig, I’d love the change of scenery, I’d love to leave Texas, even if the other place is equally Right Wing. I’ll survive. After all, I’ve survived here all this time!
The interesting thing is that when I try to think about the future after not winning, of returning here to stay, I come up blank. It’s as though my subconscious simply can’t fathom that. I find that curious. Hopeful, and curious.